Ten Actions You can Take to Guarantee an Unsuccessful Relationship or...How to screw it all up
(Applicable from ages 15 to 87)

Obsess - She broke up with you, and now you’ve worn down all your friends lamenting on how great she was. (rent Swingers.) He never calls when he said he would, so you get panicky and complain to all of your girlfriends. (Every girl I know, at some time or another.)
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Assume - Just because you want someone to love you, it doesn’t mean they do. You can’t measure it by actions, hence, you need to hear the words. On the other hand, don’t assume someone doesn’t care for you as much as you’d like them to, maybe they just need a bit more time. To each his own pace.
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Manipulate - Game playing will only get you back what you give out, so be careful how you treat people. If you don’t genuinely care for someone, then you have no business being in a relationship with them. Dating someone for material gain will lead to an empty heart.
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Lie - If you don’t want someone to lie to you, then don’t lie to them. It’s too stressful trying to keep track of lies, they always find out, and besides, you want people to like/love you for yourself. Of course there are ways of getting around this.
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Compare - It makes no sense to compare yourself to one who is prettier, wealthier, or even taller than you are just to test your partners feelings. If they care for you, it shouldn’t be difficult for them to compliment you once in a while, especially if you reciprocate.
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Distrust - If you have no trust, you have no relationship. If you have nagging doubts, then you have the beginnings of the end of the relationship. The thought that someone could be cheating on you, or a complete undependable flake should be enough to make you rethink what you’re involved in now. Rule of thumb: If my boy/girlfriend is a candidate for the Ricki Lake show, then I don’t want anything to do with him/her.
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Deny - Accept the fact that you aren’t completely happy with the relationship as it is. Don’t use the ‘love is blind’ theory, and think that time will heal all. Believe me, there is always someone out there that will treat you nicer and respect you more if you aren’t getting it now.
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Abuse - Treat people how you wish them to treat you. There is no tolerance for verbal or physical abuse in any healthy relationship. If someone is abusing you or your children, then you must Get Help and get out Now. If you can’t help but abuse someone you love, then think about how much it hurt you as a child, and learn from that experience. Build your own strength.
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Disrespect - If she’s really cool when you’re alone, but you feel you have to put her down in front of your friends, chances are, you might think you’re being cool, but she’s probably going to leave you pretty soon, unless she’s a masochist, and then you’ll be just another lonely guy with no one to share the good stuff with. If you don’t respect someone, leave. You both deserve better than that.
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Betray - To lie to someone you love, to cheat on them, to badmouth them behind their back, is about the worst thing you can do for your relationship, aside from actual abuse. When things get this low, it’s time to call it off. According to The Laws of Karma, playing with someone’s mind and heart will always come back to hurt you.